After the Thrill is Gone

6 stages of deterioration in A relationship


Romance --> Reality --> Rut

Regret --> Resentment --> Repudiation


5 steps to restore a deteriorating relationship


But this is what I have against you: you do not love me now as you did at first. Think how far you have fallen! Turn from your sins and do what you did at first. If you don't turn from your sins, I will come to you and take your lampstand. Revelation 2:4-5 (GNB)


STEP 1: REALIZATION – …you do not love me now as you did at first.

  • Realize that my love is lacking.

  • Realize the kind of love that God is looking for.

  • Agape love is not an emotion, it is a decision.

  • It is not a feeling; it is a function.

STEP 2: RECOLLECTION – Think how far you have fallen!


Along Babylon's rivers we sat on the banks; we cried and cried, remembering the good old days in Zion. Psalm 137:1 (MP)


STEP 3: REPENTANCE – Turn from your sins…


No! I can guarantee that they weren't. But if you don't turn to God and change the way you think and act, then you, too, will all die. Luke 13:3 (GW)


STEP 4: REPETITION – …and do what you did at first.


What you probably “did at first” that you need to do now.

  • You need to be attentive.

Live together in love, as though you had only one mind and one spirit between you. Look to each other's interests, not merely your own. Philippians 2:2, 4 (Ph.)


In the same way you husbands must live with your wives with the proper understanding

1 Peter 3:7 (GNB)

  • You need to be affirming.

So encourage each other and build each other up… 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NLT)


…outdo one another in giving honor. Romans 12:10 (TLB)


  • You need to be affectionate.

Husbands… be affectionate! Ephesians 5:19 (Amp)


Abimelech…looked out of his window one day and saw Isaac affectionately touching and caressing his wife Rebekah. Genesis 26:8 (VOICE)


Let (your mate's) affection fill you at all times with delight... Proverbs. 5:19b (RSV)


  • You need to be adventurous.

Enjoy life with your wife whom you love. Ecclesiastes 9:9 (NIV)


God richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Timothy 6:17 (NIV)


STEP 5: REALIZATION – …or I will come and take your lampstand.


Let the person who is able to hear, listen to and follow what the Spirit proclaims to all the churches… Revelation 2:7a (VOICE)


If we are living in the light of God's presence…then we have wonderful fellowship and joy with each other . . . 1 John 1:7 (LB)

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